I won't Give Up

Winter have come and gone

Lost memories grew into trees, cover the doors and swallow the cure HAHA! 

Now we're back to the beginning;
So do the legend begins with a whole new chapter of Life as a Young Adult.
It's a story and no one knows yet.
And I haven't figure out what do I need more and I don't know what I want, don't ask me why. Cause I'm still trying to figure it out what's down this life's journey. I'm just trying to see through all the possibilities that I have even though I'm not the only one that feels the way I do.

Now that I'm on my own, that's all I know. I'll be strong and I'll be wrong but life goes on. I'm just trying to find a place in this world. Ahah!  :P What more do I need? Tomorrow's just a mystery, but that's okay. Because I'm a girl on a mission & I'm ready for upcoming adventure. YEAAAH!!

As you will quickly learn in life; Maths determine everything.
Maths is in beauty, how appealing person's face is determined by the spacing and distance of the features
(eyes, nose, ears, mouth, lip, jawline, skull-structure etc.)
Math is in every shape you see, every physical force that acts with or against you.
Maths is the reason you can download a 2hours movie in 10minutes online.
Maths' the reason every bridge or tunnel you drive-thru doesn't collapse. TEEHEE!  

Life as a Young Adult

''Life is a beautiful melody. Sometimes you flub the lyrics, but don't stop singing...''

So.. Here is the part where I supposed to tell you that it's not scary..
As a high school leaver, I've to decide what's my plan for the future. I'm thinking of pursuing my study in medical or art in graphic design.. :]

Life is so unpredictable
I'm not a fan of the UNKNOWN. The UNKNOWN can change your entire life in an instant. The UNKNOWN can take everything away from you and never give it back. Your life can end in a flash before you even have time to know it's over.

I'm dreaming/daydreaming to study oversea/aboard, pursuing further study levels at foreign country to experience different lifestyle and get to know more about their culture.. thus, I can improve/learn my skills & life experience as a young adult by taking care of my own; sort of like being 'independent'... & learn not to count on anyone else But myself. Haha!

P/s: I dreamed of flying away from my home last night. Trololol, AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

License

Somehow for some reason I don't have the urge/enthusiasm/interest or whatsoever you call it is in driving. I rather and prefer more being a passenger than a driver.

I don't hate driving;
I just didn't quiet enjoy driving as much as some of my friends are...

Yet the feeling of Anxiety, Panic, Nervous, Scared, Fear, & Worry never seem to strike when I'm driving..
The only feeling I have : 'blank'?
It's not that I didn't have any clue on how to drive a car.. I do know how to drive but, I just doesn't seem to enjoy it. Trololol

I'm done with the license now. :))

Gone For Good

Take a break..
Let's fly to London, New York, Canada, Dubai, Paris, Kuala Lumpur then back to Sabah ;D

January is never good

February was a skip
March pushed and shoved me
April made me grin 
May tear my brain apart
June taught me to remembered and let go
July had me holding in tight
August slipped away from me
September was blur
October was a mess
November left me reckless and restless
December was made up of favorites. Old and New

I don't wanna be lonely, or belong to mystery..
Sometimes it's not always easy being someone daughter; no matter whose daughter you are.
Life is full of screw-ups, thats just how life play out.. Everybody DIES, but not everybody LIVES.
I can keep a key from a colonel, I can stay away from a saint. But I don't know why it's so certain, that the best is yet to come!

At some point for some reason, you may find that this post is kinda sorta pointless or whatever you might think it is. It doesn't make a lot of sense right now, but it will... :]
I barely even can thinks straight! Because I haven't take a proper nap/sleep for the last 36 hours!!! HAHAHA 
There's always HOPE, for the HOPELESS.

Tomorrow Is Christmas

Happy & Merry Christmas Eve everyone :)

But.. as for me... it doesn't feel like Christmas at all... :| maybe;...

Let just relax, lay back, listen & enjoy the songs in the middle of the night/early in the morning.. ;)

dang it! I'm such a hopelessly hopeful dreamer ;P TEEHEE

14th December

Holidays are coming, examination are done for now
After half of a decade stressing, now Its time to relax
Its time to enjoy the holidays, Its time to sit down, lay back on the couch and forget all about high school..
Yet crisis, drama, stress, problems, and shit never seem to need a break.

Sorrow seems to conquer the days, leaving sadness to break the tourniquet
Slowly taken away the happiness bringing tears to the cheek

Lie never seem to be a problem, hiding the truth never seem to be false.
Its all just part of life cycle. That's all

HAHA! I just put on my braces last Monday.. And now I barely even can bite a rice AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.
Such TORTURED, yet I don't regret on getting braces! TEEHEE :)
Just so you know I take ages just to brush/clean my teeth from now on. HAHA

Chasing the moon

"I'm sorry I'm not as pretty as you thought I'm."

I'm just like any other human beings around the world. I bleed when I cut, I blush when I'm embarrass, I died when I'm death and I live when I'm not death.

I'm a human being not a fucking genius robot. -.- I study/work my ass off  to score ACEs'.., I breath to survive, I crave for OXYGEN not for Money or some frickin' 'LOVE'.
I'm not a saint, neither a santo. I'm a teenage, I learn my lesson as I'm growing up. I dream to success, make my parents proud of me and try to give them a better a.k.a luxury life.

I'm half-vegetarian, I don't eat meat, or drink dairy milk. I don't wanna eat seafood either, yet I do/did eat cakes and eggs. I officially became a vegetarian on 17 August 2011. Why did I became a vegetarian...?? Nahh.., you gotta have to ask me in person to know why. ;P   
Every day I take a risk to live and enjoy my life. I'm allergy to bazillions of thing around the world.

Life is unpredictable, you may plan yet you can't........?? Can't...what?! hmm..~ idk what?!
You probably shouldn't get to know me more/deeper, because once you've know/ get close to me; I'm an angel's devil. TROLOLOLOL 

If you really don't know me; I'm kind..
If you don't know me; I'm great..
If you know me; I'm a vain but honest..
If you really get to know me, I'm MEAN!!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!

Sorry for being such arrogant vain, I won't change my attitude/personality because I'm too selfish for my own goods.
It seems like being a saint neither a devil won't/couldn't really make a things go right. That's just part of world nature. You just have to learn how to act around the society and try not to be fools easily by the human beings. Let just accept the way how I'm.., Don't hate me for who I'm not instead appreciate me for who I'm.

p/s: I'll keep trying to improve my language. :] 

  


  

Cepumas

Finish my high school on 11/11/11. o.O
pretty awkward huh? what can I say??

Just so you know yesterday was the first day of SPM, and...... I...... screw it in Malay paper 2 !!
whaaaaaaat theeeeeeeee heckkkkkkkk was I'm doinggggg?!!!!
I've already lost >12 marks in paper 2!! I didn't have enough time to finish/answer all the question in section 2 due to wasting too much time in the section 1 !! It cause me to shed a tears after submitting the unfinished answer sheet.DANG! dammit! Why can't I just hold it till I got home?! Fuck Off!
Arghhhhhhhhhhh!! I'm so devastated right now! :/ I would trade my soul just to retake the test! AHAHAAH
But that would never happened in reality. I just had a bad day thats all. Sooner or later it will end instantly.
One more thing! I'm not going to get ceramic braces instead I'll get damon braces. 12/12/11 will be the date I start wearing braces and SPM will be over in 30 november !!

Academy of Art University

Received another mail from Academy of Art University :)

I'm interested in medical & surgery and graphic design photography.

I'm indeed of scholarship in pursuing my studies oversea.

Give me some hope, I'm running out of luck...

Hey :)
Excels are over, yet I still need to study hard and work my ass off to score ACEs in SPM

For the first time in this year I pass my history test !! HAHA :D I'm proud of myself
I guess the late night studying and the numb-numbing hours spent on studying and revision payed off. From D to B !! It's a good progress right? Even though I didn't get ACE, at least my grades are getting better.

Just so you know, I might kill it in Maths but I screw it in Add-Maths :/
Once more...I FAIL in Add-Maths, I running out of charm.
Somebody please help me in Calculus, I reallyreallyreallyreally needed a helping hand, I'm numb in calculus.. I hate those dy/dx du/dv ''telur dinosaur'' or what so ever you call it is. *sigh*
Biology,Physics,Chemistry... what you got for me? can you please show me some love, my love for you are infinity.. TROLOLOLOLOLOL 


Despite all the damn thing, sooner or later all of the bad charm will instantly end.


Here we go... soon I'll be wearing braces. You might think/said that it was so freaking hurt/ugly/painful or whatever it is.., yet the result after 24 months of having it in your mouth was tremendous!! Trust me! all the pain/nerve-racking are worth it.


About the braces... I need to decide wether I want the ceramic one or the metal one.
Yet I choose to get/have half ceramic and half metal that might decrease the cost a little bit than having full ceramic braces. I know that ceramic brackets of braces was a bit pricey than metal brackets. But I don't want to get/have the full metal one. 
THANKS to my parents they encourage me in whatever my decision are.. 

'Money is never a problem if there's a desire of good deeds or benefits, and Money is never a problem if you aren't such a pessimistic or narrow-minded.'  stellyn levine

Awkward Moment

Something weird happens today...

Today is the most weirdest  day ever.. Wanna know why??

At some point for some reasons I find that it's awkward for me if I saw any of my friends/classmate/schoolmate outside the school when I'm shopping with my parents at mall or anywhere else.

In less than just 4 hours, I saw/accidentally meet 7 out of tons of my friends/classmate/schoolmate outside the school, at different place yet at the same day..

3 out of 7 of them I accidentally meet/saw them at my housing area. Just so you know, at the moment when I accidentally meet/saw the first 3 of them... I was ridding my bike cycling around the housing area with my niece and I was wearing my Pajamas shirt…!! Lol I don't know what was I thinking., and why did I wear my Pajamas when cycling.. why didn't I change my shirt before I went out to cycling?!! I'm kinda embarrass when they saw me cycling around in my Pajamas shirt.. and It's too weird for me when I bump into them while I was in messy.. Lol, HAHA.. 

The other 4 of them I accidentally meet/saw them at downtown while shopping for grocery and while paying at the counter. I smile and wave at each of them while my parents were next to me eyeing and watching at them. Luckily, while this time of awkward moment I was dress properly.. HAHA  

Dissapoint

FUCK OFF !!!

That is the most suitable words for this week..

Tons of shit happen this week, the probability of it might happen again for the next upcoming week are undefined. 

First of all 

Do you know what the heck was the pic above ?!


Hmm..., here we go.
I'll try to explain briefly and politely about the pic above
As you could see in the pic above ''JABATAN LATIHAN KHIDMAT NEGARA'' aka PLKN
It's a Malaysian Training Program and it's a crime if someone rebel to go to the program. You can only get an exception if you are mentally ill or undergoing drug rehabilitation or something similar to those conditions.


Unfortunately, I'm running out of luck... hmm, I'm selected to join this program and I'm devastated...  Lol
-___-



Life is HARD! yet I'm not gonna give up and I'll never back down! TEEHEE

Tomorrow : Last day of 2011 1st semester

Tomorrow is the last day of school for this semester.

We'll play Cho Dai Di LIKE A BOSS all day long till the end of the class =D

Holidays are coming, examination are done for now
After half of a decade stressing, now it's time to rest
It's time to enjoy the fun, it's time to create the memories of last year in high school..
Yet crisis, drama, stress, problems, and shit never seem to need a break.

Sorrow seems to conquer the days, leaving sadness to break the tourniquet
Slowly taken away the happiness bringing tears to the cheek

Lie never seem to be a problem, hiding the truth never seem to be false.
Its all just part of life cycle. That's all

Things Happened

High-School

Last Year of high-school officially start tomorrow :)

2011

I think after high-school I am going to somewhere away from trouble 

Things that I'm gonna do after high-school :

1. dye my hair whether orange/red auburn/purple/blue or any other gorgeous color
2. shave my hair.. (after dye my hair for weeks or whenever I want) ahahaha !!
3. apply as many college/university  application as I could/want (more then 10 maybe) xD
4. travel around the world
5. learns to play as many instrument as I able/manage to 
6. Tattoo.. but i don't know where or of what
7. Enjoy my FREEDOM !!!  

Something About me

I’m a very confusing person, even I can’t decide on what I want. I’m constantly changing my mood and my aspects on life. I don’t like letting things get to me and I try to keep the most positive attitude possible. There’s no point in living life at all if you aren’t going to give it your all. I didn't always think this way I was pretty nice sometimes...

I've learned that it’s better not to talk about things that non-less, all you have to do is just shut the hell up and realize it’s unnecessary and it’s something you’re going to have to get past anyways so there’s no point in telling or talking 'bout crap you just need to letting it get go.

I can be silly and immature with my friends. I kinda hate meeting new people. I'm a social-awkward. I’m only comfortable talking to some people because they don’t make me feel nervous and they aren’t there to judge me.

I have good manners and I’m always polite to people I meet. I like to travel.

I don’t trust people when it comes to anything but I’m working on it. My parents have high expectations for everything and it challenge myself in school and other areas of life. I get good grades and average mostly B’s or C's & A's sometimes A+'s.

However I smoke and I’m not going to lie to you about it. I honestly have given up trying to please people and care about what they think. It’s never going to matter anyways.

I’m here to blog and improve my English, don’t waste your time by judging on me because I don’t give a damn. I can come off rude or self centered but I’m really far from it. Don’t try to figure me out because I can’t even do that. I always try to look my best because you never know when you’re going to meet that one person that’s going to change your life forever.

I’m into space and wildlife, graphic design, photography, premedical and medical studies. I'm dreaming of becoming SURGEON, PROFESSIONAL GRAPHIC DESIGNER/ PHOTOGRAPHER, PROFESSIONAL POKER PLAYER, and PROFESSIONAL TATTO ARTIST.  

p/s i miss the old days, where everyone was happy

Birthday

I never seem to get excited or whatever feeling it is that people should have when their birthday's are just around the conner.. I don't know why, and it seem to be a bit of 'unpleasant'

I'm not saying that I don't like or don't want to celebrate my birthday, it just that there is something kind of bothering me every time my birthday are upcoming..

Since holidays starts, I've been back to my old lifestyle routine which is :
Going to bed at late night or early in the morning.., depend on your own perspective (3am/5am)
And wake up at the middle of evening or late evening (2pm/4pm)
THEN,
At the evening, I'll be having my 'breakfast'  then reading novels until I'm bored
During the night, I'll be online and updating my Facebook then visit/stalking some cool Tumblr/blog and play games.
In the middle of the night, I watch moviess or read my novels then eat my 'lunch'..     
Before going to bed I'll watch the sunrise at the roof of my house ; at late night or early in the morning the view of sunrise from my roof aren't as beautiful as the view of sunset but at least it is still pretty thou..

2010

Holidays been almost a month, and I'm already getting bored of it =/
There's nothing much I could do around this November's holidays, some of my friends are balik kampung, going to their blablabla's house, vacation, nenenene, erek erek, part-time job/winter job. My family?? hmm~ Nothing interesting..

I'm thinking of having winter job but.. not really sure where it's gonna be. By the way, my immune system are getting weaker Lol.. I'm suffering for cold just because of drinking too much cold drinks during rainy days -_____-
 It's kinda annoy when you're on your holidays and you've plan what you gonna do but then suddenly you're SICK!! hella screww!! IT'S RUINs THE PLAN >:(

I thought of going to tuition during the holidays to get my grades up for up coming next year exam and studies.. Pessimistically, when I think twice about it.. I'm kinda lazy to wake up early and do revision about study during holidays.. it just that I'm not the one that gonna studies and do revision during holidays.. that just not me, I'm the one that only going to study or do revision when my parents asked to, when getting bored and for the last minutes of exam, that's me.. :3  

2 more Days

my hair growing longer every seconds.. haha..

2 more days, then i'm out for schools this year ;P hah..
I'm a bit tired and I haven't study for Chemistry yet.
btw it's raining and I'm cold, I'm seriously need a warm+tender hugs =)
1 more thing, tomorrow I'll be back late and that doesn't make any sense at all...
Why can't we just skip the discourse/lecturing or whatsoever it's and keep the time for examination on track?!
This is so pathetic and lame, I wish I could change a things but.. never-mind, it's worthless

# 2nd Random Thoughts

I'm allergic to:

• SUN
• peanuts
• nuts
• tree nuts
• cosmetic, laundry & food detergent
• dust
• smoke
• grass
• seafoods
• flowers
• furry animals (cat/dog/rabbit)
• mold spores
• pollen
• ragweed
• dyes
• household cleaners
• physical agents (heat,cold,light)